{"id":751,"date":"2025-01-02T18:18:26","date_gmt":"2025-01-02T18:18:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/?p=751"},"modified":"2025-01-02T18:18:26","modified_gmt":"2025-01-02T18:18:26","slug":"after-the-sky-fell-two-afghan-womens-remarkable-journeys-and-the-men-who-champion-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/2025\/01\/after-the-sky-fell-two-afghan-womens-remarkable-journeys-and-the-men-who-champion-them\/","title":{"rendered":"After the Sky Fell: Two Afghan Women\u2019s Remarkable Journeys, and the Men Who Champion Them."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Parween and Fahima\u2019s lives changed when they left Afghanistan. Now they fight for gender equality. The men in their lives fight for them too.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI always dreamed of living abroad, meeting new people, learning different languages. My dream came true, in a different way than I expected.\u201d Photo by Grace Manning.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Grace Manning<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*The names and identifying factors of all people have been changed for their safety and privacy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018His Support For Me Is Now His Greatest Enemy\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

On August 15 2021, Fahima left home for the presidential palace in Kabul, where she served as health advisor to the first lady of Afghanistan. (Her name has been changed to protect her and her relatives from Taliban reprisals.) A midwife and psychologist, Fahima advocated for mental and maternal health across all provinces of Afghanistan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then the Taliban entered Kabul. Fahima spent four days living in a taxi, wearing a chador, with only a bottle of water. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When cell service returned, she called her father and asked him an impossible question: \u201cI have been offered a seat on a plane leaving Afghanistan. Should I take it?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He replied without hesitation: \u201cJust go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI still hear the echo of his voice,\u201d Fahima said, \u201cthe extent of his helplessness, his selflessness, is always with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She ran for hours, barefoot, to Kabul Airport, where she endured the heat and chaos of the crowds. And the humiliation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy feelings are hard to explain \u2013 how sad, how low I felt that day, and even now.\u201d Photo by Mohammad.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Taliban told me I was abandoning my religion,\u201d she said, \u201cthey screamed that I was a prostitute. They spat in my face.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leaving Afghanistan, \u201cI could only see the sky from the plane,\u201d Fahima said, \u201cthat is a regret. I wish I had been able to say goodbye to my country.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A refugee for the first time, Fahima waited in line for bread in a camp in Qatar.  \u201cI felt numb. I was in survival mode,\u201d she said. But she never questioned her decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHaving already experienced the threat of the Taliban, I didn\u2019t have a single moment to rethink,\u201d Fahima said,\u201cI couldn\u2019t stay and allow both myself and my family to be killed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She had real reason to worry. Hers is a household name in Afghanistan. Fahima had dedicated her early career to midwifery, after witnessing the near-death of a neighbor in childbirth. Despite her parents’ fears, she disguised herself as a boy in order to accompany the young woman to the hospital. Women could not travel anywhere without a male escort, even if it was a matter of life or death. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t see any other choice,\u201d Fahima said, \u201cit was very difficult for me to see a woman dying in front of me. I had to go.\u201d She had just finished second grade and would not return to school for five years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Fahima and fellow midwives smile from under burqas for a photo in Badghis province. Photo courtesy of Fahima.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fear and danger governed Fahima\u2019s childhood. Her childhood friend was killed by a landmine while they were playing. Her family spent days hiding in the basement of their home, surviving on dried fruit and nuts. They never knew what time it was or how many days had passed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cConflict stole my childhood,\u201d Fahima said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God Is No Else\u2019s Business <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fahima\u2019s father, a highly educated Muslim soldier in the Afghan army, married her mother, a devout Christian. He never forced her to convert to Islam. Fahima\u2019s father, for the first of many times in his life, demonstrated his belief that, \u201clove comes first and everything else comes second.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since Fahima\u2019s mother was illiterate, Fahima\u2019s father read his wife passages from the Bible. Every year, they traveled to Tajikistan so that her mother could attend Christmas Mass. As a family, they kept the secret of her mother\u2019s religion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fahima\u2019s father was a radical thinker in Afghan culture. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe would say, \u2018Religion is a commitment between you and God. It is no one else\u2019s business. If you respect humanity, learn about every religion before you question it,\u2019\u201d Fahima said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Several months ago, long after Fahima fled Afghanistan, the Taliban detained Fahima\u2019s father after finding a Bible in their home. He was tortured, kept without food or water, and forced to divorce his wife. He was released, and Fatima\u2019s family went into hiding. She has no idea where they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTo me, there is nothing in common between what I believe and what the Taliban do or say,\u201d Fahima said, \u201cI was raised to believe in humanity, regardless of whether someone prays in a mosque or a church.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Three years ago, Fahima kissed her mother goodbye, thinking she would see her that evening. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cToday, I am still waiting for evening to come,\u201d Fahima said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018An Unraveling\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parween, a twenty-four-year-old Afghan woman, remembered her father\u2019s words, \u201cMy only dream is to see my daughters become successful women.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPeople criticized my father for educating his daughters, but he didn\u2019t care,\u201d Parween said. Her father was a champion of women and girls \u2013 her greatest supporter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mohammad, Parween\u2019s younger brother, rejected the idea that all Afghan men oppress women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Mohammad spoke, the weight of exhaustion hung in his voice. He had just arrived back from Afghanistan. He had returned to Kabul for the first time since 2021, to renew his Afghan passport\u2014 a privilege reserved for men. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He knew his sister would give anything to return to her home country. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Taken by Mohammad in downtown Kabul, 2024. Women are noticeably absent. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019re both from the same country, born and raised there,\u201d Parween said. \u201cWhy does it have to be different for women? We both have Afghan passports.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of his visit, Mohammad said, \u201cIt was a Kabul I didn\u2019t want to see. An Afghanistan I didn\u2019t want to see.\u201d Utterly void of women, \u201cit wasn\u2019t as alive as before.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mohammad and Parween grew up in Wardak, a rural province of Afghanistan, during the dying days of the first Taliban regime. Now known as a haven for terrorism, the countryside of their childhood was one of rare beauty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Wardak, Afghanistan. Photo by Mohammad.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI loved growing up there,\u201d Mohammad said, \u201cthe memories I have, those moments of laughter, are precious.\u201d Living with his family of nine, in a mountainous part of Afghanistan known for its apples, Mohammad also remembered car bombs and mass shootings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With few educational opportunities in Wardak, the family moved to Kabul. Mohammad started attending the American University.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe moment you stepped inside, you forgot that you were in Afghanistan,\u201d Mohammad said. There was freedom of speech on campus, in stark contrast with the rest of the country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOn public transport, people would say university was a disgrace and it was brainwashing students into fighting against the Afghan government.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mohammad reveled in his learning until, in his words, \u201ceverything went sideways.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t tell my friends where I am now. I feel guilty for my freedom.\u201d Photo by Grace Manning.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The morning the Taliban took Kabul, Mohammad went to school. His mother told him goodbye in the way Afghan mothers did, as though they might never see their child again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He described his feelings in the days afterwards. \u201cA shattering,\u201d he said, \u201cseeing how you are losing everything you\u2019ve worked for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI remember taking a photo of the sunrise on the first morning of the Taliban occupation, and I still have it with me. I think of that morning as the one where the young people in Afghanistan, especially the women, lost their hopes, their sense of their futures.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parween echoed her brother\u2019s sense of disbelief. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her hands were curled around a cup of tea, soft orange headscarf slipping down her neck. The cool night pushed in; the whine of mosquitos, the smell of woodsmoke and bougainvillea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI never thought it would happen,\u201d she said, \u201cmy friends and I joked about it, saying, \u2018if Talibs come, we will climb into trees to avoid them.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThose first few days of the Taliban were chaos,\u201d Parween said. After hearing that the city had fallen, she ran home from the University of Kabul. She was lucky that she lived close enough to run. Her friends were stuck in traffic for hours as Afghans scrambled to get home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou know when they announce that the war is beginning?\u201d she said, \u201cand everyone is running in the streets, and looking for their families? That is what it was like.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Soon after, the city became quiet as Afghans locked their doors, and turned off their lights. Unease settled over the city. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother told her to have hope. If the president of Afghanistan was still in Kabul, nothing could be as bad as it seemed. Parween sat on her balcony, and refreshed Facebook. It was her only news source \u2013 all Afghan channels had been infiltrated by the Taliban. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then Parween saw a report.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI cried,\u201d she said, \u201cwhen I saw that President Ghani had left. I thought, \u2018now this is the end.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Taliban appeared in the streets immediately. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey were driving tanks,\u201d she said, \u201cIt was so loud. They chanted day and night. They carried special guns, the ones the American soldiers left behind. We didn\u2019t have guns like that before.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then they started taking down the flags. \u201cWe have the most beautiful flag,\u201d she said.\u201cThey put up their own flag. They take the words of Islam and abuse them.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAfghans are now starving,\u201d Parween said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Their daughters do not attend secondary school or university. Women cannot speak in public, even to each other. They are forced to be inside, shut away from the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe are lucky,\u201d Parween said, \u201cthat committing suicide is forbidden in Islam. Otherwise, all of Afghanistan would be dead.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI left the place I love the most. I didn\u2019t want to see it that way. It made me feel sad.\u201d Photo by Mohammad.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While reflecting on his recent trip, Mohammad said, \u201cI saw pigeons fly wherever they wanted. They had the freedom to do anything a living creature would want to. To have more rights than women in Afghanistan \u2013 seeing that was very hard.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLeaving Afghanistan was like leaving a loved one behind, someone you may never return to.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere weren\u2019t any good feelings leaving. Yes, I will have a better future. Yes, I will be able to continue my education. But leaving Afghanistan was the hardest thing I\u2019ve done in my life,\u201d Mohammad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mohammad described his recent return to Kabul as a crushed dream. \u201cI was hoping things might have changed while I was gone and I would be able to return home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One positive element of his new life in the United States is safety, Mohammad said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI leave my house in the morning and my mother is still sleeping. It is the first time I ever saw her sleep in the morning without needing to say goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt is a different feeling and a good one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Aerial view of Kabul. \u201cI feel like I left my city in the wrong hands.\u201d Photo by Mohammad.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I Have Hope\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parween\u2019s first time on an airplane was when she left everything she had ever known for the clambering green of Rwanda in 2022. She crossed the Pakistan land border with the excuse  of a medical emergency, and fled to a place she had been hearing about her entire life \u2013 the School of Leadership Afghanistan. It remains the only boarding school for Afghan girls in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parween\u2019s father accompanied her to Islamabad, before, extraordinarily, they parted ways. \u201cHe told me to experience everything,\u201d Parween said, \u201cHe always wanted me to live life and make him proud.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fahima first met Shabana Basij-Rasikh, co-founder of the School of Leadership Afghanistan, while working for the former First Lady of Afghanistan in 2021.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe would come into the office and talk about the rights of Afghan girls,\u201d Fahima said, \u201ceveryone knew her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Months later, Basij-Rasikh would make a phone call to Fahima, which she answered from an abandoned taxi, offering her a seat on a plane full of young Afghan girls. In return, Fahima devoted her career to SOLA\u2019s mission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fahima and Parween both spoke of an, \u201cunfinished journey.\u201d One that would end with a family reunion, a return to a ravaged homeland, a sense of peace. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThese things are always happening in life,\u201d Parween said, \u201cOne day we have a good day, another we have a bad day. I have hope.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For now, their days are dedicated to the Afghan girls who made it out of Afghanistan, and who are fiercely pursuing a stolen education. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parween teaches Math, Fahima is the school psychologist. They are met every day with the aftermath of trauma, forced separation, and homesickness, manifested in children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parween dreams of the day she will see her family again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She pictures a reunion, in an airport in the United States, kissing her mother\u2019s hands. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Parween and Fahima\u2019s lives changed when they left Afghanistan. Now they fight for gender equality. The men in their lives fight for them too. \u201cI always dreamed of living abroad, meeting new people, learning different languages. My dream came true,…<\/p>\n

Read more →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=751"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/751\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":760,"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/751\/revisions\/760"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thanassiscambanis.com\/sipa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}